Two Sisters By Ama Ata Aidoo
Two Sisters by Ama Ata Aidoo was about manipulation and control. Mercy and Connie are sisters. Mercy is unmarried and has acquired a taste for the finer things in life and gets these things by dating much older men. Connie is married and disapproves of one such arrangement Mercy has with Mensar Arthur. This story raises the question of whether or not it is ever right to use someone for the sole purpose of getting something, even if they are using you as well. Mercy had no problem with this. She believes that “Women allow [men] to behave the way they do instead of seizing some freedom themselves” and Mercy interprets the solution to this to be dating older men (95). Connie struggles against this idea even when her sister gives her a gift from Mensar-Arthur. To her, it just seems wrong that he is using her but, as her husband James points out, “She is using herself, remember” (99). Connie accepts the gift though making her a kind of hypocrite after by going against Mercy’s lifestyle. For even after Mensar-Arthur is imprisoned Mercy simply moves on to the next man who can give her something. This new one had a wife, children, and grandchildren to think about too. To me, both Mercy and her men are at fault for keeping women “down”. Even Connie shares some of the blame by not asserting herself in her own marriage. Therefore, I wasn’t completely shocked when Mercy blamed Connie for the state of the female gender. However, it is not like Mercy is at the front of the fight for women’s rights either. Do you think it is possible for a woman to manipulate men without being used herself? Who was more to blame for the quote, “it is woman like you who keep all of us down”: The housewife looking the other way at her husband’s affair or the single woman who uses older men to get where she wants (95)?
Connie plays the role of the concerned older sister. She does not want to see her sister being hurt by these older men that use her. Mercy has no issue with this, because of the things she receives from these men. There is a mutual use of the other in order for personal gain. This society seems less accustom to polygamy than in the other stories, seeing as how Connie was upset when her husband came home late, and we are made aware this wasn’t the first instance. Also, we see the discomfort with polygamy again by Connie’s worries about her sister seeing married, older men.
I think if the man is unwise, then it is possible to use a man without the woman being used. However, in this situation, Mercy is clearly being used, even if just for pleasure. If the man just wants to spoil the woman because he loves her and purely for no other reason, and the woman stays with him for these spoils, then that is a situation where only the woman gains benefit.
I am stuck on the last question. It is clear that both are to blame, however, for different reasons. Connie’s turning the other cheek to her husband’s affair is not so uncommon in the traditional cultures where men would marry more than one woman. Mercy’s situation is a little different. Men usually used women for many reasons, as we saw in “For Whom Things Do Not Change” with the older gentleman and the little girls. But, the girls also gained money for their families from this. It is hard to argue who is more to blame when both actions were (or still are) tradition.
I agree with your comment that Connie is the concerned older sister, but I believe that she is taking on the role of Mercy’s mother also. It was said in the story that their mother had died before she could teach them everything they needed to know. Since Connie is already a mother to one, soon to be two, she is extending her motherly instincts to her sister as well, who is still acting as a child. Connie is fearful that these men are using her, as any mother or sister would. Connie is the character in the story that keeps everyone together, often as a mother does. She keeps tabs on her sister, her children, and her wandering husband. She relies her concerns to her husband, who does not share the same concerns. Her husband would rather use Mercy’s connections for his own benefit. I do see Mercy’s lying to her sister as a sign that Mercy knows what she is doing is wrong, and knows that her sister would be very mad and upset if she knew the truth.
In their culture, I think that it would be more difficult for a woman to manipulate and man without her being manipulated herself. I feel as though rich men know that women are attracted to them for their worth, and they allow them to be. It seems as though the more wives a man has, the merrier.
It surprises me how little James’s affair was paid attention to. James asked Connie himself if she found out about his affair and she replied yes. But then she told him that that was not the reason she was crying. She was more upset about the fact the her little sister was chasing these “Big Men” who can take care of her, or manipulate her.
But I agree with Katie when she says that both girls are keeping all other women down. It is the insecurities that women have that allows men to get what they want.
When I read about James’ alleged affair, at first, I did not think he had an actual “sexual” affair, but that Ama Ata Aidoo was using a play on words. An affair could simply mean a social event or having a particular errand to run. James’ mentions he is just teasing Connie by admitting to his new affair, because he thinks it will lighten the mood and that her “dirty mind” will automatically assume he was out sleeping with another woman. Deep down, he probably was having a sexual affair, considering he was out until two in the morning and this is a obviously a regular occurrence for him. Regardless, it is swallowed and accepted by Connie.
I liked how both sister’s “man drama” played out simultaneously throughout the story. As a reader I felt Connie was the protagonist, wanting what was best for her younger sister Mercy who is misguided in her pursuit for love and happiness. I found it interesting that her name was Mercy, meaning to have a compassionate disposition and to be forgiving. I think she wants people to feel sorry for her in the beginning because she is unlucky in her quest to find a man to take care of her. I know someone in my family who has this same mindset. She thinks she is going to wait around for a man to swoop her and her six year old son up and give her a car, house, spending money, etc, and meanwhile she doesn’t invest any time in an education or full time job to help herself. So yes, I think Mercy’s thought process and actions have serious repercussions. She is perpetuating an unhealthy love life and becoming dependant and solely concerned with material possessions.
I would also like to point out the beautiful personification of the Gulf of Guinea on page 98. I loved how it closed its eyes in boredom as Mercy and Mensar-Arthur fooled around in his car.
The question re: the ability for women to use men without being used seems relevant to our discussion of “Medley” as well.